#12 THE MAD PROFESSOR

 THE MAD PROFESSOR

       

Mad Professor at front of class,students yawning &sleeping

 

There once was a Mad Professor

Who constantly got things wrong

So they wrapped him up in a parcel

And sent it off to Hong Kong

 

The Hong Kong officials took one look

And said he'd have to go !

And because he only spoke 'Double-Dutch'

They sent him off to 'EURO'

 

The Dutch officials took one look,

And thought he was a SPY

So they sent him down to the Magistrates' court

And said he'd have to be 'tried' !

 

They stood him up,  in the box

And said "WHAT do you have to say ?"

So he gave them a lecture for 19hours

About 'Electromagnetism and Decay'

 

The Judge got bored,

The Jury fell asleep,

The Prosecutor left,

Still he didn't feel bereft

 

He went ON and ON and ON and ON

Till eventually it was 'morn'

He was into his topic so so much

NOT ONCE did he ever yawn,

 

The Judge curled up into a ball

The Jury sprawled out,  in the hall,

The Prosecutor slumped down in a chair,

The Professor was oblivious,

And simply didn't care !

 

The cleaners came in to clean the floor

One sat down and asked for MORE !

So for 29 hours he talked more & more,

Till all one could hear was a room full of snores.

 

Zzzzzz  Zzzzzzz   Zzzzz  Snort Zzzzzzz  Cough  ZZzzzzz Splutter   SNORE   SNORE SNORE

 

Meanwhile the cleaner ,

She got keener,

And asked him to explain ,

What he meant by the

HYPERDYNAMOELECTROCARBONICPLATONIUMPEROXIDEXERCONIUMXYANTBYANOTONIUM PLAIN ????    

                        

The Professor looked pleased

And said  "Let me begin"

Talking for 17 hours

Just to ' Get in the Swing '

 

The 'Court session' looked ZONKED

And continued to doze

In fact they were nearly COMOTOZED  !!!

 

The Security  guard at the door, FINALLY shouted

"PLEASE, NO MORE !

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

LET ME SHOW YOU THE DOOR !!!

ANYTHING TO GET YOU OFF THE FLOOR "!  

 

The Professor demanded all expenses paid

To get him back to the USA

With 5 star Hotels and First class meals

His return to be by a ROCKET  

 

"ANYTHING, ANYTHING"

The security guard said

Swiftly giving him a Million Dollars for his pocketšŸ’°

 

Before he left he wanted to say........

"Thank you for my pleasant stay,

It was GREAT to share my knowledge with you,

As basic facts simply will not do.

Maybe one day, I can return,

And explain to you 'Why's and How's?"

 

The cleaner wholeheartedly agreed to this

Saying " Why not do it NOW?"

    Mad Professor hand got an idea

"WHY YES" !  said the Professor,

"That's a BRILLIANT idea, 

So pleased to see you're keen"

So he went right back to the Magistrates' court

Wondering why everyone screamed ?

 

And so to this day

The Professor stayed

Talking daily into 'thin air',

The reason was (If you really must know)

Was the fact that no one was there,

 

Except a single cleaner

Who sat at the front,

And agreed with EVERY word ,

(But to be quite frank

When asked to repeat,

She really looked quite BLANK     :)

Cleaning lady red dotted scarf on head with bucket and mop